Wow. Long time since I last wrote. And so much has happened since then. Not much of it good.
Harley and me have always been a closely guarded secret. But a couple of weeks ago a friend saw some texts from me to him on his mobile phone, and questions started to be being asked. It’s been really difficult as we have always publicly maintained a “just friends” front. The reason for this is that there is a lifestyle and age difference that most people wouldn’t understand. Which just goes to show how closed-minded my friends are to think that a age gap of 14 years is not something that can be overcome or ever have a hope in hell of working out. That and the fact that Harley and I know that this can never be a “forever” thing – it just wouldn’t work. Anyway. So text messages were seen, and suspicions aroused, questions asked. All very uncomfortable. We played everything down, but I’m not totally convinced that our friends are totally convinced.
Things have started to calm down a bit, and Harley and I have had to have a long chat about “us” and whether we should keep things as they are or cool them off. Neither of us want this to end, so I think for the time being we’re staying as we are, but I don’t know…
Then on Tuesday Green decides to add to my current stresses by announcing that he is breaking up with his girlfriend Doris saying “with all the rumours about you and Harley I’m confused about sh*t and I need time to think”. I feel must fill in some background information here by mentioning that Green has been in love with me for about 6 months, and has asked me out on several occasions. Unfortunately I only see him as a friend. It seems that the “rumours” about me and Harley are upsetting him due to his feelings about me. Which is insane because he’s supposed to be really into Doris. He’s confused???!!! I bloody am!!
Needless to say I have been thinking about me and Harley a lot recently, questioning if our relationship really gives me everything I need right now. The horrible cruel irony of it all is that I have successfully fallen completely in love with a man that seems like my Mr Perfect, and is someone who in a parallel universe I am all set to marry and spend the rest of my life with. In this particular universe, we are too many worlds apart for that to ever happen. We can’t even share our happiest together with our friends and families. Cruel world that I should fall in love with The One I can’t have…
1 Comment
18 July, 2008 at 4:45 am
14 years is really only a drop in the bucket. If you like each other and the age difference doesn’t bother you then try to forget about it. It’s how you interact with each other that really matters.