The sky over the city turn a wonderful silver-purple-grey colour… just moments before it started raining. With the sun shining making all the buildings bright against a forboding back drop, for a moment this grey and often ugly city looked stunning. Like a watercolour painted with affection and drama. It took me by surprise for a few moments. I wonder, if you can slow down and step out of the stress and the rush of modern life, can you always find simple things of beauty? Things that make you stop and appreciate the wonder of your surroundings?
When I was younger and still living at home, my Mum and I had jobs in the same town. This was extremely handy as it meant I could get a lift to work with her. She would drive, and listen to Radio 2, commenting through out the seasons about how dramatically a shaft of light was shining through those trees, or how amazing the bluebells growing by the side of the road were, or how beautiful it is to drive down a road that is lined with trees bursting with colour and autumn leaves. I meanwhile would be sleeping. I resented getting out of bed so early to go to a crummy job I hated, so I wasn’t going to waste an opportunity to get some more zzzzzs.
Perhaps I did miss out though. Maybe even though I hated my job, I would have found more pleasure in my day if I had been less self-centre and more aware of the world that didn’t just revolve around me.
Tonight is my evening with Harley. I can’t wait. I don’t even mind that it’s tipping it down with rain, and I’ll be doing a convincing impression of a drowned rat by the time I get home. I don’t care that my hair will be plastered to my head, and that my make-up streaks will be an impressive look-a-like of Kiss’s. I know how amazing it’ll feel to be wrapped up in his warm arms, too allow myself to vunerable and let him be all manly and caring and protective. Just for a short while. On my terms.
